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Why Do We
Sometimes Feel Like A Fraud?
by Adam
May
Training Consultant
Do you ever get that feeling that everyone else knows what they are doing and you are just flying by the seat of your pants? Do you ever think that if people really knew how little you know they would be appalled? In other words, do you ever feel like a fraud?
Well, good news! You are not alone! Most of us have had that feeling at some time and some of us have it most of the time. Maybe it came on that first day at infant school when all the other kids seemed to know what was going on and you just stood there looking around you, not having a clue. The decision made by children when they start relating to people outside their families about how to cope with the anxiety of not feeling confident about what to do is a key one in the development of personality. The best decision a child can make is to engage: to decide what they want, seek support from other children, and get the information they need. You may have been one of those children who made a different decision: to withdraw, to bully, or to be led by another child. If so, maybe you need to think now about revising that decision and start doing things differently.
The fraudulent feeling seems to be more common in women than men. Anne Oakley, a feminist writer, argues that in a sense, women are right to feel like a fraud in male hierarchies because hierarchies embody the belief that one person is superior to another. Anne Oakley thinks that it isn’t the people who think they are frauds that are the problem, it’s the one’s who believe they are right to feel superior to others that are! Oakley thinks that putting people into hierarchies makes them fraudulent. She believes we should work towards more egalitarian social systems.
Feeling like a fraud isn’t a good feeling to have, so how can you shift it? Well, it’s not going to go away all at once, but you can begin to lessen it’s power from today. You have been giving your feeling primacy over the evidence. Reality is not determined by how you feel: it’s determined by how it is, so maybe you need to start noticing the evidence. When you have told people that you believe you are a fraud, did they agree with you? Measure what you do against what others achieve, not against some notional perfect standard. Your concern about being a fraud has probably made you work harder and to a higher standard than other people. Stop thinking that what is real is your feeling about yourself and realise that what is real is your behaviour. If you act competently, even if you feel incompetent, then you are competent. If you bring your perceptions into line with reality instead of distorting it by emphasising your mistakes and playing down your successes, then you will start to feel more confident.
Why People
Who Are Bullied Need Champions
by Adam
May
Training Consultant
As a psychotherapist I find people are always asking me questions. What, they ask, is a good enough marriage? Can the behaviour of their manager be called bullying? Is the behaviour of their mother or father reasonable? Generally we are trained to avoid giving direct answers to such questions and instead say things like “well, what do you think?” and, “I guess everyone has to form their own opinion on these things”, but the other day I found myself wondering if this is entirely helpful.
The argument for reflecting such questions back to the person is therapists should not be setting themselves up as the arbiters of appropriate behaviour, and that our job is to facilitate autonomy rather than direct and control.
We all have an idea of what behaviour is reasonable, but reasonableness is partly defined by circumstances, and partly by cultural background. This relativism can be a problem because the lack of a clear, definite standard makes it hard for people to know when the line has been crossed. This is particularly true of people who grew up in families where manipulative, aggressive and bullying behaviour was the norm. These folk will probably embark upon adult life with some very odd ideas about what constitutes normal or appropriate behaviour. For example, if someone grew up in a family where they witnessed one person hitting another as a matter of course, they may well not see such behaviour as inappropriate later in life when someone hits them, or they themselves start to hit other people.
Some of the most damaging bullying doesn't involve any physical coercion. Being humiliated in front of others, being the subject of constant criticism and name calling, or being manipulated so that you feel guilty or inadequate can be just as distressing as physical bullying.
Part of the bullying experience is of becoming divorced from a sense of appropriateness. People who are bullied often think they deserve to be treated badly. Bullying begins with slightly inappropriate behaviour and then escalates. The shame of having allowed themselves to be bullied makes people pretend it isn’t happening. Under these circumstances people seem to have no template or standard for gauging the bully’s behaviour. They have lost their bearings. Asking for help may not seem to be an option. They feel hurt and offended by the bully, yet they also feel wrong for feeling this way. In these circumstances people need someone to tell them that they are being bullied.
If you suspect you are being bullied, at work, or at home, tell someone and ask them for their opinion. If someone asks you if you think they are being bullied, don’t be afraid to give your opinion.
On Training
Evaluation Sheets
by Adam
May
Training Consultant
Even though the main thing evaluation sheets measure is how much people like the trainer, well designed sheets can also provide useful feedback as well as helping participants to feel that their views matter.
I cannot be the only one I’m sure, who has handed out sheets genuinely wanting feedback, and then found myself feeling defensive when I get it. The anonymity of evaluation sheets seems to bring out psychopathic qualities in some people? Completely outrageous comments are hurtful but relatively easily dismissed. More dangerous are comments which feed one’s self criticisms. It can be very easy to accept these criticisms when they may be as unjustified as the outrageous ones. Give the most weight to those comments which recur. If half the punters want more of something, and half less, you are probably doing fine!
There will be times when you are focusing on certain aspects of your training delivery so it makes sense to vary the questions you ask. You cannot ask about everything every time. Avoid questions which always focus on the negative: what was missing, what could have been better etc. Your participants may well want to acknowledge that the event was good but they won’t be able to if your questions invite only negative responses. Think carefully how you ask what you ask: are you going to invite a yes/no response; a full sentence, a 1-5 rating; a rating of happy/unhappy faces? What will you change if you get a consistent set of responses? If the answer is nothing, or you won’t be able to deduce anything useful from the possible answers then don’t ask the question.
Some questions might be designed to provide information for your funder or training commissioner in which case fatuous questions and questions cravenly seeking praise are entirely appropriate!
Ten questions are enough, otherwise you will test your participant’s endurance beyond breaking point and they will tend to give undifferentiated responses. If you are a conscientious trainer you will pore over their responses, so give your participants enough time to reflect and write down responses which are worthy of such attention. Don’t allow them to take the sheets away with them because the chances of their being posted back are slim. Recently I have taken to asking participants how much responsibility they have taken for gaining as much as they can from the event. I find that those who are generally negative about the event also score themselves low on their commitment and effort. The questions serve as a reminder that it’s not only the trainer who has a responsibility for making training work but the participants too.
A copy of the basic training evaluation sheet we use on National Centre volunteer management training courses can be found on our 'Really Useful Training Materials' page. It draws upon the many sheets I have seen used over the years. All feedback and suggestions for other questions gratefully accepted.
Should learning
be passive or active?
by Adam May
Training Consultant
If people don’t get much out of a course it’s often because the trainer and the learner have different understandings of the contract between them. Learners, especially those new to adult learning often hold The Empty Vessel Theory. They see themselves as passive recipients of information. Trainers tend to hold a Responsible Learner Theory, seeing learners as active collaborators who identify their learning needs and co-create the learning experience with the trainer.
Put passive learners and empowering trainers together and what do you get? Answer: an evaluation form with very few smiley faces. The learner cannot understand why the all-knowing trainer does not simply give them the answers. They view group activities as time wasted. The trainer cannot understand why the learner has no answer to the question “What do you want from today?” and why they engage with group activities so reluctantly.
I was once required to coach someone in an entirely facilitative, learner-centred way. When I asked her for feedback at the end of our sessions she identified the most useful session as the one where I broke off from saying something like “well, what do you think you should do?” and said something like “look, there’s no point in re-inventing the wheel, this is what you should do!” I have some sympathy with my trainee. Maybe my intervention didn’t promote her autonomy. Maybe it maintained the power relationship depriving her of the chance to struggle with the issues herself, but it also saved her a lot of hassle.
On the other hand, those of us who have the audacity to train others don’t have all the answers. People often learn best from activities and from each other rather than by hanging onto every word from the trainers’ lips. There is something both horribly seductive and horribly unnerving about a group of people writing down your latest bon mot verbatim.
Facilitative training is more empowering, more respectful of what people already know, and more fun to be a part of. However, I also think a trainer should know more than most of their audience. They should pull discussions together, draw out the main learning points, and add any key ones that participants haven’t come up with themselves. Perhaps, though, we need to spend more time on setting our methods into context. Never mind ‘Training for the Trainers’ Courses’, what we need is courses in ‘Learning for the Learners!’
Getting in
on the case
by Adam May
Training Consultant
Most people learn better from particular examples than general principles. Case studies can link the specific to the general. They can range from a handout with a short paragraph to a complex scenario described over several pages. Audiotape, video, and even role play are all presentation options.
Case studies encourage active participation helping a learning group cohere. You can gauge the group’s level of knowledge by monitoring their discussion. Human interest is crucial. Encourage learners to identify with your dramatis personae by giving them names. Create a soap opera! Engage hearts as well as minds and the learning will be much better.
True cases read better because they sound true. Be careful though to protect people’s identity. You can also ask your learners to provide case material. This will be very real and full of detail. The danger here is hat you get lost in the specificity of the case. Your role will be to manage the discussion carefully so that people derive the general learning points from the specific example and apply it to their own situation.
Cases shouldn’t be so tightly structured that participants feel they are being manipulated to state the obvious. Don’t worry if people come up with different solutions to the ones you had envisaged. Part of the learning is that situations can be viewed in different ways, and that different viewpoints generate different action plans.
Allow your participants plenty of thinking time. You might want to give people the case study in advance of the session along with some key questions to think about.
You can use a well developed case study to launch other activities such as roleplay, simulations, and small group discussions.
Whilst case studies which obviously relate to the participants’ situation have their place, studies which seem completely different, even ridiculous, can help people to see their own situation in a different light, providing you ensure people see the relevance. For an example of this, see the exercise I designed for promoting discussion on diversity issues. This can be downloaded from our 'Really Useful Training Materials' page or viewed on the Diversity Challenge web site at: (www.diversitychallenge.org/groupexcercise.htm)
The Mouse Trap Technique of giving people one case tending them towards developing a good practice principle, and then giving them another case which challenges that principle will engage people in active debate. Multiple case examples around a particular topic can also be used to help a group derive a general strategy for whatever issue is being examined.
The Horrors
of Silence
by Adam May
Training Consultant
Watching a novice trainer the other day I was struck by his compulsion to fill the silences. He asked questions and immediately answered them himself. Fear of the group being non-responsive led him to make this happen. They were overwhelmed by his nervous chatter and sat in mute silence, embarrassed on his behalf.
An unresponsive audience is every trainer's nightmare. It’s important to remember that trainer time passes more slowly than audience time. What seems like an age at the front is but a few moments to those listening.
Participants need to flex their vocal muscles so aim to speak to them individually as they arrive. Arrange the seats close to each other in a layout that doesn’t leave people feeling exposed so they are encouraged to talk with each other before your presentation begins. Begin by asking people to say their names or introduce themselves to the person next to each other. If everyone has spoken, at least to one other person they will find it much easier to speak out in the group.
Expect your audience to reflect before they answer your questions. What seems like dead silence may be reflective silence. There will always be someone in the group more phobic of silence than you, so you can afford to pause and let the pressure on this person mount. Just stand back, relax your facial muscles, make eye contact with each of the group in turn, and wait.
Talk to each of the group in turn, making eye contact with them rather than keeping your eyes locked on your notes. Watch your audience carefully. You will be able to notice when people are ready to speak and invite their contribution. Develop the sense of a conversation with your audience.
Creating
the right impression
by Adam May
Training Consultant
If you’re running a training session for volunteers or colleagues it’s as well to remember that they themselves are perhaps the most valuable and most underused resource. Rather than placing yourself in the starring role, it’s important to create an environment that encourages participation from the very beginning. First impressions last so make people feel welcome as they arrive. A smile, a welcoming notice on the flipchart, refreshments on arrival all help to convey to the participant that their presence is appreciated.
Higher level needs such as learning are less important to people than knowing where the lavatories are. When you are responsible for the day and your mind is going twenty to the dozen, it’s hard to get a sense of what the participants’ experience is. I invite people to share the responsibility for group comfort; to open windows or turn up the heating themselves. Sometimes I nominate a Comfort Monitor and a Meeter and Greeter from amongst the early arrivals as a way of divesting myself of these responsibilities. It’s also a good way of encouraging participants who might otherwise by shrinking violets.
When I first started training in the eighties, the preferred seating layout, especially in counselling and social work circles, was horseshoe style with no tables. These days I notice colleagues are more willing to acknowledge that many participants prefer to have tables, sometimes even in a formal boardroom design. Rows however, rarely seem to be a good idea: they stop people from seeing each other and you.
In the UK at least, people will rarely sit immediately next to a stranger if the seating allows for an empty chair between them. However gaps can create an uncomfortable sense of distance and disconnection. I usually put out a few less chairs than the number expected so that folk have to sit close together. This also gives me the opportunity to personally draw up a chair for the late arrivals, welcoming them into the group whilst issuing the preliminary housekeeping information.
People are not going to remember everyone else’s name during the customary round of names but it’s a membership ritual rather than an information exchange. Keep contributions short. Make a point of noting the names. Use name badges if you must (I do).
These may be small details but they make all the difference to whether your training session is enjoyable and effective. People appreciate the efforts you make to help them feel comfortable more than any number of wonderful learning materials and flashy teaching aids.
The Profession
of Volunteer Management comes of age
by Adam May
Training Consultant
As previously reported in Volunteering Magazine, a consultancy project to develop National Occupational Standards for the management of volunteers is coming to the end of its first phase. The project defines the key purpose of volunteer management as being 'to enable volunteers to address the needs of the organisation's beneficiaries and the expectations of other stakeholders whilst satisfying their own motivations'. A functional map describing 7 key functions of volunteer management has been drafted.
The draft map gives structure and detail to a set of functions which most of us would agree are central to managing volunteers. The work of the project has important implications for the future of volunteer management and will be an engine for professionalisation. It is likely to stimulate and inform the further development of volunteer management training courses which are already springing up around UK. Hopefully it will bring some coherence to the training and educational provision.
The project will identify both those areas where volunteer management differs from managing paid staff, and those areas where there is common ground. In the future volunteer managers can expect to participate in some generic management training and also some specialist modules. This will be to the benefit of volunteer managers because it will facilitate people moving between different agencies within the sector, as well as into management roles in other sectors of the economy.
Part of the project remit is to perform a Gap Analysis, identifying where there are gaps in current volunteer management training provision. This should inform the further development aspirations of volunteer management training courses which are already sprining up around the UK and may encourage more Higher Education (HE) institutions to develop modules at degree and postgraduate level. More managers qualified at a higher level would enhance the status of volunteer managment and so, by association, volunteers.
The project is located within a National Occupational Standards (NOS) framework and therefore quite skills oriented, but the standards should also take into account the different value base of volunteer as opposed to generic management. This is a big part of what makes volunteer management distinctive. For example, volunteer managers are generally committed to the idea of creating a better society through a commitment to giving time without material reward; and to developing roles to fit people as much as fitting people to roles. Commitment to these values is every bit as important in volunteer management as having the required competencies.
Further details are available from the VSNTO website at www.vsnto.org.uk/NOS.htm, or from Project Consultant, Rekha Wadhwani, telephone 020 8581 7597. e-mail: rekha@lineone.net.
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